TESTING...TESTING...IS THIS THING TURNED ON?

Can you guys hear me in the back of the room?

Good...good...

I guess it's pretty obvious what I'm going to do here, isn't it? I'm going to discuss the news. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to do this, nor do you have to be some loud mouth on the radio or TV.

All you have to be able to do is read and think, and I can do both.

Why would anyone care what I have to say about the news or anything else?

Beats the shit out of me; I have no idea. But I'm going to do this, anyway.

For one thing, what the hell else do I have to do? And, for another, there are all sorts of things going on around the world that regular people, like me, simply don't get heard about. I'm going to change all that...um...ok, not very likely, no.

Well, then...how about this?

I'm on a mission to stifle political correctness, and it lives and breathes in and around Newsland, so I'll be able to mock dumbasses and assholes every time I sit down at the keyboard.

Offensiveness is mine, sayeth the Lord. (Jehosephat, 3:16)

Very cool.

Amen.